godwho
Saturday, August 30th, 2008The Christian Wrong or the group formally known as the Christian Right, like to lay a lot of God in everything they say or do. They take great stock in God, like Bill Clinton takes stock in fucking. It used to tolerable when they were on the street corner with a bull horn, talking about the end of the world. Now, since they took control of the White House and America, nobody’s laughing. I say its time to laugh. Reason to Laugh #1: Who is God? They don’t know who God is, but they take the “word” of God seriously. Imagine if you didn’t know who your boss was, but everyday you got a memo commanding you to do a number of useless chores that have no importance at all. Would you still work for your “mysterious” boss? No, you’d tell your boss to go fuck himself. The Christian Wrong doesn’t their boss to fuck himself because Dick Cheney would have them killed. Nobody knows who God is, but God seems to me to be an overbearing prude, a father figure if you will. Someone who stays home all day and gardens, complains, and watches Martha Stewart reruns. He’s a prude because he is allegedly against premarital sex, drinking, masturbation, adultery, gambling, stealing, and Michael Moore. The Michael Moore part was added into God’s doctrine when the Bush Administration took over the country and rewrote the Bible while rewriting the Constitution. They messed up because now at the start of the Ten Commandments’ it clearly states, “We the people.” Reason #2: Thou Shall Not Kill…unless God says it’s okay. More humans have been killed in the name of God, than have caught the clap from fucking Courtney Love. If God is against hot teen sex and whacking off, then what in gods name is the reasoning behind the killing? Simple: Overpopulation. Then again we wouldn’t have to kill people if members from certain ethnic groups would use condoms. You can’t blame the Muslim Extremists because it’s hard to conceive a child when your husband had your uterus cut out. Reason #3: Religion is a really a big cop out. It’s like saying you’re an alcoholic, but through the grace of the Lord I found religion and overcame my addictions. Bullshit! You ran over a little girl, went to prison and spent the last five years giving head to a guy named Bubba. You’re not a religious person, you’re a cumcatcher. Sure you pray, you pray never to be sent back to San Quentin. Born Again Christians are the biggest pussies I have ever seen in my life. They couldn’t handle their drugs or booze or hookers, or other fun things. So they switched from Jack Daniel’s to Jesus. What a bunch of quitters, I’d take the Jack any day of the week. They ruined their lives so now they think they can show us the way to the Promised Land, because they were saved. Saved my ass, they got to take a fucking mulligan. And because they took a mulligan we have to listen to their shit every time we turn on TV or go to get an abortion. You think giving them the control of our country would be enough to get them to shut the fuck up. I wish they were truly born again, so they could crawl back into their mother’s womb and we could abort them! It worked for Earl Simpson, Jessica’s real brother, the one the Simpson family doesn’t want us to know about. The world would be a better place if God wasn’t brought into the equation on every life threatening or possible life saving situation. For instance, Stem Cell Research. Fetuses are not people; they are simply dead slimy things in jars. But we can’t do research with these dead slimy things in jars because Christians say life begins when you are just thinking about fucking somebody. We can’t do research and possibly cure diseases such as juvenile diabetes and type 2 diabetes because these people have their heads up their asses. People are dying unjustly because Christians think that some day fetuses will grow up to vote Republican. God and religion belong in churches only and out of our hospitals, courtrooms, government, and the “Hustler Club.” I would like to tell the various Christian Fundamentalists that are listening to this, God doesn’t like humans, if God liked the human race, he wouldn’t have sent you here to piss us off.

